Kyle's Journal
by Chair Ree Car Mah
Summary: DC STORY. Cherry Tulips and Karmuh29. What more motivation do you need to click the button to read this story? Oh, you need more? Okay. KYLE! XD The title is self explanatory... we aren't big headed. Cherry promises.
1. Chapter 1

**(We would like to acknowledge that we got the idea for this story from redfox816. She wrote a story called "Emmett's Diary" for Twilight. Kudos! We liked it so much that we decided to make one in Kyle's POV. We hope she doesn't mind hehe.)**

**[Disclaimer: We do not own any of the characters or settings in this story.**

**P.S. This is a DC (Developed Characters) story. (It will catch on eventually haha)]**

Entry One: July 3, 2009

So a couple days ago some people said that I was complaining (I don't think I was), so Doc suggested that Wanda get me a notebook on the next raid. He said it would be my "therapy" for my "anger issues" which I don't even think I have. So here I am writing to the world about my boring life. Hey! maybe one day this could like go in history books or something! Ahhh that would be awesome! I could be the next Anne Frank! All the chicks would get to see my gorgeous face on the cover. That would give 'em something to look at before they go to bed at night, eh? Ahahaha. Yeah I have to include my laughter so you will know when to laugh. Haha I'm good, aren't I?

You know my hand already hurts, I'm not used to writing here. Wait, you guys don't even know where here is now do you? Well I'll explain it then. I live in the caves in Arizona. Yeah, you read me right, caves. You see these aliens invaded Earth. Haha and people always thought that would make a sick movie and would you look at that, it's now our reality. Anyway, the aliens were inserted into all of the humans. Well, most of them, the cool people (like myself) ran away to a safe place. Which would be here in the caves. Yes, there is more than just me. (Obviously, since I talked about someone named Wanda and Doc ahaha) There are actually like around 40 of us here. Holy shit, there's just so much to say. I don't even know where to start.

Hmm...I could probably tell you about what happened today. Do you want to read about it? Ah, I'll tell you anyway.

Okay, we all knew that I was the big shot around here. Then here comes this Jared guy. Ever since he showed up here, I've been having to sit by and watch everyone praise him. I mean, that used to be me. I was the one everyone loved. Now I feel so neglected... Anyway, I got side tracked there. I don't like that guy Jared very much, as you can see. Well, _I_ have something on _him_ now. So today in in the lunch room or whatever that place is called (I'm not calling it a kitchen because lets face it - it's pretty much all rock and it smells bad) I told everyone.

Dang it, I forgot what I was saying. Oh yeah. Don't mind me if I keep losing my place, I'm a little nervous. It _is_ my first entry and all. So today, us guys had field duty (I'll explain what that is at another time, if I remember to) and we had just taken our break for lunch. I was walking with Ian to go get some food when I realized that I forgot my shirt (yes ladies, we all take 'em off when we work. No, not for your benefit, but because we get _oh so_ sweaty ;). I went back to go grab it when I noticed Jared was still in the room. I didn't think much of it until I heard his voice. I stopped dead in my tracks. I thought to myself, _Did he really just say "My god Jared, you're such a sexy beast."_ I just stood there and watched as he talked to himself in the mirror. It was so hilarious that I couldn't bring myself to laugh. He continued in a southern, high pitched, girly voice "_Jared, I swear, I do declare you the most precious man of them all. I lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve you"_ He emphasized love like there was no tomorrow. Then he blew a kiss at the mirror and winked at himself. What. A. Douche. At this point I could not hold my laughter in any longer. Instead of grabbing my shirt I went back to the lunch room and sat with my group. By now I was laughing so hysterically loud that everyone turned to look at me like I was crazy. If only they knew - Anyway, I told everyone at my table and _I_ am back to being the big shot. =D

Well I'm lazy and don't feel like writing any more. Don't worry ladies, I'll be back ; )

The _real _sexy beast - Kyle

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**[Author's Notes: Chair Ree = Bold; **_Car Mah = Italicized_**]**

(_Our inspiration for our title? Carl's Jr (fast food joint). Yeah they sound a lot alike. Plus if you are up for the challenge try saying this three times fast: Kyle's Journal. Pretty hard to say, eh? Ha. _**Yeah, it's hard to say, I had trouble. Car Mah thinks it's the Pepsi at 2 AM, but I don't think so. You know she also doesn't like the way we wrote this very much. (Yes, I'm changing subject on you.)We were going to make Kyle lose his voice so all he had to communicate with was a notebook, but that got too confusing. Believe me, you would not have understood what he thought or the people said or what he wrote. Anywho, I hope you guys liked this. Maybe we will write another story in someone else's POV next. **_Oh my, how do we have time for all of these stories you ask? I have no idea. I hope, along with Chair Ree, that you like this story. It's something a little different and hopefully each chapter will be funny. P.S. If you have any ideas for stories you think would be good, but don't want to write them, send them to us! We would gladly write them hehe. We accept votes for who is better (Chair Ree or Car Mah) on this story too. Chair Ree doesn't believe in polls. =_**)**


	2. Chapter 2

Entry Two: July 27, 2009

I couldn't write anything in this stupid journal for a while because I was 'reflecting' on my past. Yeah, I didn't want to do it so shut up. Now Doc is telling me to write down all of my past conflicts in my journal.

The first thing that came to mind happened back in third grade. It was Tuesday, the official Show-and-Tell day. Now before I start my story let me just say that I was the best at Show-and-Tell. How can someone be the best at it you ask? Well lets just say that I always brought the coolest things. Everyone was always jealous of me, which is probably why this all happened in the first place. So it was Tuesday morning and I woke up late. My mom was yelling at me from downstairs to hurry up. I quickly put on some clothes and rubbed my hand through my hair. I achieved the perfect messy hairdo possible. Yes, even back then I had to look good for the girls. No, they didn't have cooties like Ian thought, ha. When I ran down the stairs I saw Ian standing by the front door with his striped shirt, backpack high on his back, and his Steve Urkel pants like the little nerd he is. As I was being rushed I saw an ant farm in Ian's hand and I quickly remembered what day it was. (He is only in kindergarten, but his class had Show-and-Tell day on Tuesday's too.) My next thought was 'An ant farm?' See what I mean? Nerd. So I told my mom I would be right back and ran inside to my room to get something for Show-and-Tell. Now I had to keep my streak of bringing the coolest things, but I didn't have much time. So I grabbed the first thing I saw - a picture. I didn't think to turn over the picture to see what it actually was until I got to class - my first mistake.

I'm going to attempt to write a flashback for you guys. It will make things easier for me to explain what happened, but obviously I can't do it word for word. I'll try my best.

"Kyle, my favorite student of all time, it's your turn for Show-and-Tell," Mrs. Sanchez said.

As soon as she said my name I heard all of the girls whisper things like "Ohh, Kyle is _so_ sexy!"

I whipped my head to look at the girls and they all put the back of their hands to their foreheads and fainted. All except Emily, the hottest girl in class. She got up, ran over to me and jumped on me, planting a big one right on my lips. Yeah, I was a stud even back then. After we made out I grabbed her hand and we walked out of the classroom and made our way to the parking lot. We hopped in my Ferrari and drove off, leaving a puff of smoke behind. Well, it wasn't exactly a Ferrari, it was more like an electric toy jeep… still cool though, amiright? I mean the wind was blowing in her hair and everything.

Oh… oh wait I'm sorry. That wasn't what happened. That was just something that I used to wish happened back then. You see Emily was the hottest girl in my class and I always wanted to kiss her. Sadly it never happened though… anyway, here is the real story.

"Kyle, it is your turn for Show-and-Tell," Mrs. Sanchez said.

I went over to grab the picture out of my backpack. Man, I felt so cocky back then, I can't believe I was like that. I ALWAYS had the best things to show, I was excited for the Ooo's and Awe's or is it Woo's and Ahh's?? Who cares…So I sat down confidently in the chair that was placed in front of the whole class. They were all cross legged on the floor, anticipating what I had to show them. I took a deep breath and looked down at the picture. My eyes widened. K-K-Kirk Cameron? Bu-but that was supposed to be hidden under my pillow! Oh no. Yesterday was Monday, cleaning day. My mom must have washed all of my sheets. My heart started to pound. Okay, okay Kyle don't freak out. You will just have to come up with a good explanation for this. Can't be that hard, right? I looked up and saw Emily smiling right in front of me. Her eyes locked with mine and I shot my eyes back down to the picture.

"Kyle, come on! We don't have all day and I want my turn!" Nick shouted from the back row.

"Settle down everyone. Kyle, is something wrong?" Mrs. Sanchez asked me.

"No, no everything is perfectly fine. So I brought in a little something different today. It's a picture, but not just any picture. It's an _autographed _picture."

"Oohh!/Whoo!"

"Awe!/Ahhhh!" See, told you they all loved me.

For dramatic effect I slowly turned the picture over, with my hand strategically covering the bottom.

"Oh my god! You met Kirk Cameron?" Emily screamed. "Can you like introduce me?"

I knew I had her in my grasp now. After this she was going to be _all _over me. A huge smile crept on my face. I was too focused on all the things me and Emily were going to do now that we were in love (Yes, love.) that I did not feel someone take the picture out of my hand.

"Hey! There is no autograph on here! Liar!" Nick shouted. I really didn't like that kid, he was always trying to steal my Emily from me.

"What? Yeah there is!" I shouted, coming out of my fantasies.

"I don't see anything," Someone else said.

"Well…that's cause it's in….in-invis-ible..ink," I said slowly. Oh yeah, I am a fantastic quick thinker, aren't I? Cue the sexy girl voice '_Why yes Kyle, you are fantastic._'

"That's stuuuupid! You like him, don't you! Stuuuupid!" Nick was laughing and trying my last nerve. Oh, but I had a GREAT comeback for him!

"Oh yeah! I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!" Everyone started laughing and I ran out of the room. Okay, I'll admit, I cried. _Real_ mean cry *cough* Jared *cough*.

Yeah, there was probably more to the story, but I pretty much blocked all of it out. I mean I can't go too much into detail here. I gotta keep my bad boy image, like River Phoenix. ; )

Until next time youpieceofcrapjournalthatismakingmesaythingsIdon'twanttosay.

Tootles.

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**[Author's Notes:]**

**(Car Mah: Sorry it took so long, hopefully we will get updates on some of our other stories soon too. Annnddddd I _love_ Kyle's cockiness. =)**

**(Chair Ree: Oh yeah, the cockiness is wicked _hot! _Thank Car Mah for the brilliant writing, I only had a couple suggestions to throw out this time. Haha. :)**


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